


Cliff's Edge

by drusillablackthorn



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Art School, College AU, F/F, Trans Character, also addiction, i love my sapphic queens, im trash, ive wanted them to be in love since 2013 get on my level, main with mental illness, the story has nothing to do with the song but im hayley trash wow, will be mentions of abusive family, will be mentions of death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-03 16:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14572539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drusillablackthorn/pseuds/drusillablackthorn
Summary: Idris Institute of the Arts, a.k.a one of the most prestigious art colleges in America, a.k.a Clary Morgenstern’s escape from her small world of custody battles and alcoholic brothers. It is not a place she wants to share with the most infuriating, bitter, beautiful girl in the world Isabelle Lightwood. Isabelle a.k.a Clary’s traitorous best friend, a.k.a a photographic genius, a.k.a Clary’s first love.//Idris Institute of the Arts, a.k.a the best photography program in the world, a.k.a the school Isabelle Lightwood has been dreaming of since she got her first camera on her twelfth birthday. The place she’s been waiting to escape to, an escape from mourning parents and dead little brothers. It’s not somewhere she was expecting to see Clary Morgenstern. Clary, a.k.a the girl who trampled on Isabelle’s fragile heart, a.k.a the messy red headed artist of her dreams, a.k.a Isabelle’s first love.//basically a college au with some high school throwbackswe stan tropes in this house





	1. Isabelle - 1

**Author's Note:**

> um tw for later chapters but ill mention those when we get there

honestly not to proud of this but i just want to get to the later chapters oops

also i think you could enjoy this if you watch the show since its au but im mostly following book characters just be warned! but i think it would be enjoyable either way since im probably just gonna throw in a book ref here or there but nothing you would be lost to! 

also italics - flashback bc im a flashback hoe

also its choppy but be warned all of izzys present non flashback povs will be choppy / a lil vague for a while bc thats her mind state sorry

* * *

August 2020 - Freshman Year of College

 

If she had still been Isabelle from a year ago, Isabelle would have meticulously planned this day down to the second, but so many things had gone wrong this morning and Isabelle just kept going through the motions. And now she was in the car staring aimlessly out the window watching her brother Jace unload all of his things.

“You could help you know.” She didn’t even bother to look up. Alec her oldest brother was leaning against the car texting his boyfriend, but every few minutes he would stop and help Jace with a box. They were having a conversation that Isabelle wasn’t really listening to.

“I still can’t believe you got a single as a freshman.” Alec’s voice was just background voice, as everything had become these past few months. Isabelle toyed with the seatbelt and closed her eyes.

“Yeah apparently there was some mix up with my roommate and they moved them last minute, guess I just got lucky.” Jace’s voice joined Alec’s in the void.

All she wanted to was go back to her bed at home, and curl under her covers. Since graduation she had barely gotten out of bed. Her life had always been hectic, yet she had always been two steps ahead of it, but after the last year she had just decided to let it run over her. She didn’t really care much anymore honestly.

 

 _You had been pulled out of class suddenly, a front office secretary walked you to where your ‘Uncle’ Michael was waiting. Michael wasn’t really your uncle, but an old family friend. He wouldn’t tell you what happened. Why couldn’t he tell you what happened?_  
The first thing that got Isabelle’s attention all day was the fact that she was sharing a room with a boy. The buildings were coed but Isabelle knew that this was a girls only floor. He looked overly anxious, like he was very aware of the fact that he didn’t belong in this building.

“Hi, I’m Isabelle!” She smiled, “I didn’t know I’d be rooming with-”

“Someone so unbelievably handsome?” He smiled a cute lopsided smile, and shrugged. “Must have been a mix up.” He turned around and proceeded to unpack as if she hadn’t just come in.

“Did you talk to-”

“Already tried, they said all the boys rooms are filled. Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable.”

“No it’s cool I guess.” Isabelle briefly thought of Jace and the clearly available half of his room, and decided that it was none of her business.

-

Her roommates name was Simon Lewis, he had informed her before she left to let Jace and Alec into her building, when she came back her previously present roommate had vanished. His strewn belongings informed her that he liked anime and played the guitar. Isabelle put the box she was holding down in her closet as Jace threw himself down on Simon’s bed.

Isabelle in response sat on her own bed, the only thing she had really done to the room was make her bed, because all she really wanted to do was nap.

“Jace, it’s rude to sit on a stranger’s bed!” Alec put down the boxes he was carrying and looked at his brother with disapproval.  

“He’s not here is he?” Jace rolled onto his back and pulled one of Simon’s comic books out of a box on the floor, “God, Iz, you’re rooming with a geek.” Isabelle flinched at the nickname but ignored him. Talking to Simon had taken all of her energy and she wanted her brothers to leave, she wanted to be alone.   
“I think I can take it from here, you guys can go.”

“I’ve got lunch with Magnus anyways, and I’ll drive Jace back to his dorm.” Jace got up and took a quick look around the room.

“Yeah I should probably unpack my own stuff.”

_Coffins were not supposed to be that small. Coffins were not homes for ten year old boys. Your little brother did not belong in that box._

“Hey, I got a list of all the girls on this floor, we’re all invited to go to some ‘get together’ in the lounge.” Isabelle sat up, Simon was standing in the door holding a piece of paper.   
“No thanks.” Simon shrugged and nodded.

“I’m not going either, I just didn’t know if you’d be interested.” He tossed the piece of paper on the table between their beds.

Isabelle looked at it and out of the corner of her eye, a list of people she had never known. Except for one.

**‘Clarissa Morgenstern’**

Isabelle closed her eyes

**‘Clarissa Morgenstern’**

_Red hair against a black dress._

**‘Clarissa Morgenstern’**

Isabelle’s hands were shaking.

**‘Clarissa Morgenstern’**

_She hadn’t seen her in months._

**‘Clarissa Morgenstern’**

Suddenly she couldn’t breathe.

**‘Clarissa Morgenstern’**

_Her hand on her back._

**‘Clarissa Morgenstern’**

-

Isabelle had always preferred order, everything in her life as organized and perfect, but then she met Clary.

Clary was the opposite of order. Isabelle had hated the way her hair was never brushed her unruly red curls always sticking to her face, her clothes always covered in pastel colored paint, and her hands had always seemed permanently stained with graphite. Her bag always had papers sticking out, she would pull the strangest things out of her pockets, and her handwriting was too large. The first time Isabelle saw bedroom she almost screamed. Her bed was unmade, her easel was covered in paint, there were paint brushes everywhere. Posters, photographs and paint splatters covered her bright orange walls, and the pile of jackets in the corner called to her, begging her to pick them up.

She and Clary had definitely not been friends, they had talked in art class, usually they disagreed, or glared at each others workspaces.  She was surprised when Clary asked her to be partners, and even more surprised when she suggested they work on the project in her bedroom.

“I’ve always worked better in my own space.” Her green eyes always looked fascinated, and she always seemed to catch every detail.

Isabelle did not miss Clary, she liked to tell herself that sometimes. She did not miss the way her hair fell in her face, she did not miss the way she snorted when she laughed too loud, she did not miss bright orange walls, or the way the morning lighting made the map of freckles on her skin glow. She did not miss the singing off key, or the way her hands felt on her face, or cutesy notes in large loopy handwriting. She did not miss snarky comments, her sense of humor, or her hand over hers. Isabelle did not miss Clary.

-

“You don’t miss her,” Isabelle told herself softly. She could no longer sleep, she decided to join Simon and unpack her things. She needed to keep her hands busy or her mind would catch up with her and she would go there again, to a place in her mind she really didn’t want to be.

“You don’t miss her,” She told herself this as she shoved a box in the top of her dorm closet, behind two boxes of trash bags and some laundry detergent. She couldn’t let herself get lost in the guilt not again.

 

  
  



	2. Clary - 1

Um I don't really have a lot to say about this one, um if you want things I scrapped I have a story scraps thing on here you can look at. It might not be the best but this is my first attempt at 1st person so oops.

Also I updated last chapter nothing big just switched Izzys flashbacks to 2nd person, nothing new added. And same as last chapter flashbacks are italics.

* * *

 

_ My new bedroom walls had already been painted a bright shade of orange, just like the walls in my old room. My dad kept saying he wanted me to feel at home, but he just didn’t understand that this wasn’t home. Home was their old house that had just been sold halfway across the country, home was my mom’s vibrant decorating, home was the swing on our front porch with a sketchbook and Simon. I had grown up in a house that was so lived in, now I lived in a furniture store display.  _

_ I put my backpack in the corner of the room and looked around, there was no furniture yet because my dad wanted me ‘make it your own’. Not that I minded, I was looking forward to picking out my own stuff, but I felt like no matter what I did I would never feel like this was home. I loved my dad but he wasn’t anything like my mom, my mom made me feel at home anywhere I was.  _

“I’m just bummed I have to leave my boyfriend behind, his names Bat.” Me and my new roommate had decided to get to know each other more by watching Netflix and eating microwave popcorn. “But also, I’m kinda okay with it? Like I’ll miss him, but part of me wants something new ya know. Like as much as I love Bat I want to meet someone new, someone who I haven’t know since first grade. Someone who didn’t see me throw up on the monkey bars in fourth grade.” I laughed. 

My roommates name was Maia, she had gone to an impressive visual arts school, and her photography was beautiful. 

“Honestly, no I don’t get it exactly, but I understand in a way. I left someone important behind too, but I’m not bummed at all. I’m happy to leave it all behind. I need something new.” Something good for me, something healthy for once, not that I would reveal that to someone I’ve known for a handful of hours. Maia nodded and laughed at something someone said on screen.

“I’m actually more upset about leaving Bat’s little sister. I feel like she’s my little sister, I went to her recitals, we made cupcakes together. Do you have any siblings?”

I flinched without meaning to, “No. I’m an only child.”

_ Max was an adorable little boy, nothing like the grand little terror Izzy had always described. He smiled brightly at me, then proceeded to show off the book he was reading. I had asked him questions about the characters and nodded along as he talked, I instantly loved this little boy like he was her own little brother. He reminded me of how Simon had been when twe had been his age, and it made me miss him even more.  _

_“I’m so sorry about Max, he can talk for years without taking a breath.” Izzy and I were setting up supplies in her backyard, Izzy wanted pictures of her in a tree for her portfolio._ _  
__I laughed, “No, he’s great. You’re lucky I’ve always wanted a younger sibling.” I was the younger sibling in my family, the closet thing I had to a younger brother was Simon and he was older than me. I knew that the younger sibling ship had sailed though, now that my parents were divorced. My mom and Luke were very clear their only babies would be fur-babies, and my dad was very clear he did not plan on remarrying._

“Hey do you want to grab food with me and a friend later, I think you two would get along great.” I didn’t want to seem overeager to spend time with her, but I was. And I kinda did go m.i.a on Simon for a few weeks and needed some kind of buffer until I could find words to explain myself. 

“Oh yeah definitely, I could stand making another friend. My parents were afraid I was going to spend college locked alone in my dorm room.” 

I quickly pulled out my phone to text Simon only to see he had already texted me, many, many times. 

_ S.O.S _

_ Im freaking out morgenstern im freaking out _

_ U wont believe what the fckifn school did _

_ Girls dorms clary GIRLS DORMS _

_ Plz call im flipping out _

“Hey I need to call someone is that okay, or awkward or?” I didn’t want her to feel weird if I just started having a conversation, and I was kind of uncomfortable with her over hearing me talk to Simon.

“I can step out for a bit if you want, hang out in the common area, if it’s private.”  
“I don’t want to like kick you out, it’s your room, but it is kinda personal.” She shrugged and got up off the floor.

“Nah, I get it. We just met, we are not on the ‘entire life story’ level yet.” Once she was out of the room I called Simon and laid down on my bunk. I listened to the cringey emo song he’d had as his ringback tone since the seventh grade, and it made me weirdly calm. Like I was calling to tell him about my first day at my new school, or it was seventh grade and we were having a late night call about nothing and everything. Calling Simon, no matter how horrible the circumstance always made me calmer.

_ I threw myself face first onto my new bed and pulled my phone out of my pocket. First days were always stressful but they were even worse when you were the new kid, and all the preppy rich private school kids had all been going to school together since preschool. I really needed to talk to Simon, tell him about all the preppy girls who stared at my paint splattered jeans like they were on fire, and the gross guy who I was seated across from in english class who couldn’t stop staring at my chest. Today had drained the life out of me and I just needed to vent. _

_ “Clary, you won’t believe what Mr. Hodge did to me today.” Suddenly all was well, as Simon went on about the math teacher from hell I put him on speaker and pulled out my sketchbook. I imagined we were sitting on my porch swing, it was spring and I was sketching the flowers my mother had just planted. Simon was playing pok _ _ èmon on a gameboy color we got a thrift store during winter break. The porch swing was one of our favorite places to be together, we would sit there all day, me sketching or reading, and he would play a game or play music. Sometimes my mom would garden and talk to us about her art students, sometimes she would sit with us  and listen to the two of us chatter aimlessly about whatever teachers we had problems with. Nothing ever seemed wrong then. _

_ “You know what I did today, I started walking to your house to pick you up this morning.” Simon sounded so distant suddenly, “God why couldn’t you stay with your mom.” And suddenly the reality of our distance interrupted my fantasy. _

_ “Stupid judge, stupid rich dad, stupid good lawyer my rich dad hired.”  _

“They didn’t know until last second, that’s what they told me. That someone had taken one last look at my paperwork and realized ‘what I was’. That’s the phrasing they used. ‘What I was’. God, Clary, I thought this was going to be some super accepting art school.” I suddenly hated this school with a passion.

“I’m gonna scream at every staff member until they put you back in the boys dorms.” I really did want to scream at someone. This school’s website had preached diversity and acceptance like it was a gospel, but obviously they couldn’t care less about either of those things. 

“No, I can handle it on my own. It’s just so frustrating.” Simon groaned, “I’m literally hiding from my roommate in a stairwell by the way.” 

“What’s wrong with her?”  
“Well we had a two second conversation then she took a nap, and when I told her about the party in the lounge and she started staring at the wall. Also I think she went through my stuff.” 

“Has she asked any questions?” 

“No, she seemed okay with it. I told her there was a mixup and she didn’t seem to care.” I sighed in relief, “That’s good, I mean you could have gotten some super invasive transphobe.”

“Yeah, I guess aloof and sad is better than peppy and invasive. Hey, what kind of roommate were you stuck with?”  
“She’s great, her names Maia. She’s from New Jersey, she has a boyfriend named Bat, and a lifetime supply of cool ranch doritos under her bed.” 

“I approve.”

“Oh, um, I also invited her to eat with us.” Simon groaned, new people were not his strong suit. 

“Ugh fine, when are we doing that by the way. I’m ready when you are.” I looked around my new room, I had unpacked all of my things. Not that I had that many. A lot of my things were still in my bedroom at my father’s house, I had only moved in with my mother six months before I left for college and I hadn’t really bothered to pack. I didn’t want any of it, nothing that was in that house really felt like mine anymore. 

“I think I’m good just let me grab Maia. What dorm are you in?”

Simon, it turns out, is in the dorm across from me. Which, I have to admit, is pretty nice. We haven’t lived close to each other in years and now we get to be right across the hall from each other. As much as I hate the administration for forcing him to the girls dorms, it’s refreshing to be so close to my best friend. 

When Maia and I made our way over to meet Simon for lunch the door was propped open with a box labeled ‘Simon’s photos’ and his room was somehow already a mess. Simon was sitting on his bed with his guitar and watching a video on his laptop.   
“I didn’t want to get up to let you in.” He explained as he closed his computer. His ‘aloof and sad’ roommate was absent. Her stuff was half unpacked, but everything that was unpacked was immaculate, her boxes were lined up by size against her bed. A camera bag sat on the window sill, a camera bag with purple and white flowers carefully embroidered onto it. 

_ “It was a fourteenth birthday gift.” She explained, her fingers gently tracing the embroidery, “I think they’re purple columbine’s.”   _

“Simon, what’s your roommates name?” This couldn’t happen to me, I had come here to get away from her, start a new life.

“Isabelle Lightwood.” He said as he grabbed his jacket off his chair, “So where are we going to lunch?” 

_ “Her names Izzy.” I whispered into the phone, it was late at night and she was asleep in my bed. I, however, was crouched in the corner talking to Simon. “She kissed me.” We had been working on our art project, she was taking pictures of me in the grass. She stopped for just a second to lay down next to me, I don’t remember what she said I just remember laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. And when she looked at me, I looked at her, and god her eyes we so brown.  _

 


End file.
